Home is where the Heart is
by Loopstagirl
Summary: If Arthur is to rebuild his kingdom, he knows he can't do it alone. But something seems to be weighing down on Merlin. This time, it is up to the King to aid his servant.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners._

_Just a quick one-shot for you all._

* * *

Arthur sat at his table, the pile of reports in front of him. If he was honest, he couldn't recall a single thing any of them said. His mind was on other matters. Not only had he just had to fight to reclaim his kingdom back from the hands of his own sister, he had also just got married! Guinevere seemed to be adapting well into the role of Queen, although Arthur knew it was going to take a while. He wasn't naïve. She had spent her life curtseying to people, and now to just stand there while they bowed to her was going to take some getting used to. He knew that some of the lords on the council were still objecting as well, sliding in comments whenever they could get away with it.

Arthur had been raised on this game. He knew the politics behind what was being said, where snide comments were masked as compliments, making it hard for someone to react without appearing petty and vain. Gwen would have to grow used to it, although Arthur was making sure he kept a close eye on who was saying what and preparing to intervene if things were getting out of control. He knew she was more than capable of handling herself, her fire was one of the reasons why he had fallen in love with her in the first place. But still, she was his wife. He had no desire to see her unhappy.

Realising that a fond smile was spreading over his face as he thought of his queen, Arthur cleared his throat self-consciously and turned back to the pile of paperwork in front of him. Considering he had summoned Merlin, he had no intention of letting his manservant walk in to see him grinning like a love-struck fool. They were already going through the awkward transition of adjusting Merlin's duties after an eventful morning in which the servant forgot that it wasn't just Arthur he was coming to wake up.

Gwen was touring the kitchens, although Arthur had a feeling she was actually just catching up with old friends after her absence from Camelot. Arthur certainly wasn't complaining. He hated the technical side of ruling, and was more than prepared to let Gwen handle it if that was what she wanted. After all, she did know more about the dynamics of the kitchens than he did. Arthur knew he should be taking this time to get his own work done, but concentrating was hard. He knew that Merlin was not the best timekeeper in the world, so hadn't actually expected the servant to turn up when the king had summoned him. But knowing Merlin would be walking through the door at any moment stopped Arthur from making any progress.

After he had dealt with this matter, however, he knew he would have no choice. There were a lot of expenses needed to be covered after the attack. The main part of the lower town had been utterly destroyed in the fighting and many people were out of homes. Arthur knew that was the priority, but there was a substantial amount of damage in the castle itself from where the Southerners had made Camelot their home. Arthur knew how to prioritise; he knew what needed to be done. But he also knew the power of appearing to be strong. It wouldn't be long before visiting delegations from the nearby kingdoms would be turning up and Arthur knew they had to look as if they had fully recovered by the time they arrived or they would have more problems to worry about.

Sighing, the king pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He knew what needed to be done, but staring at sheets of parchment informing him of it wasn't helping matters. If anything, it was simply giving him a headache and Arthur wanted nothing more than to escape the castle for a few hours. He didn't want to be a king and a husband right now, he just wanted to be Arthur. He wanted to ride at a breakneck speed through the forest and relish in the feeling of just being alive.

"Sire?"

Arthur had been so lost in his thoughts of freedom that he hadn't heard Merlin open the door. The fact that his own servant was able to make him jump made him realise just how out of it he was feeling. Merlin wasn't exactly quiet and Arthur usually prided himself on reacting to the smallest of noises. Judging by the concerned frown on Merlin's face, he was thinking along the same lines. Arthur glanced up to find his servant hovering in the doorway, not looking as if he knew whether he was coming or going. Arthur gestured him in.

"Shut the door, Merlin."

The servant did as he was told, coming quietly in. His behaviour made Arthur feel like he was definitely doing the right thing when he thought of the reason why he had summoned Merlin in the first place.

"You wanted to see me?" Merlin seemed to be hovering, as if he didn't know where to throw himself in the opposite chair in the way he often did, or stand there like a dutiful servant. Arthur watched him for a long moment, taking in the tension of his posture before he eventually sighed.

"Are you alright?"

"What?"

"Don't make me say it again, you heard me perfectly fine the first time." Arthur sat back in his chair, secretly relieved at Merlin's quick response and the way his mouth had quirked ever so slightly into the beginning of a smile. It was the first time he had truly seen that side of Merlin since they had returned.

"Of course."

"Then why didn't you complain when I sent you to muck out the stables?" Arthur wanted to say that he knew Merlin better than that. That he could tell by the way his shoulders stooped and his smile didn't meet his eyes that something was playing on the man's mind. Studying him, Arthur had to wonder if events hadn't weighed down on Merlin more than he would say. It was him who had come up with the reasoning to get Arthur to believe that he should be king, after all. It had been Merlin who had got them out of Camelot. Arthur still couldn't recall what had happened, but the fact he had lost his knights and was still with his servant meant he knew Merlin was partly responsible for their escape. He had gone through the same horrors as Arthur and nearly lost his guardian in the process. But unlike Arthur, he hadn't found the happiness at being reunited with the one he loved.

Arthur wondered whether Merlin could even tell that much was obvious just through the absence of his smile.

"It was better than staying in your company," Merlin retorted, finally coming forward and sinking into the chair. Arthur found himself exhaling as his servant did so, wondering if what Merlin really needed was someone to talk to. The trouble was, Arthur knew he was not the best person with words.

"Merlin, you went through quite an ordeal…"

"So did you."

"I'm trained for it."

"And I'm trained to follow you."

Merlin's responses were quick and Arthur raised an eyebrow as he sat back and observed the man. No wonder it had taken this long for him to truly realise that Merlin didn't seem to be himself. He had an answer to everything, and if Arthur hadn't been looking for it, he might have missed the way his eyes weren't sparkling the way they normally did when he was teasing his king.

"No, you're not," Arthur said softly, watching Merlin closely. He had to smile at the look of indignation that shot across Merlin's face at his words and the man opened his mouth to no doubt protest. Arthur held up his hand.

"You've never been trained to do anything, Merlin. You just blunder through after me and somehow come out on top every time…" Arthur didn't realise how thoughtful he was sounding as he put a voice to what was going through his mind. Merlin shifted uncomfortably.

"Arthur…"

"I want you to take a few days off."

"What? No, I'm fine."

"Merlin, do as you are told."

"Do you have any idea of how many things I'm needed for here?" Merlin protested and Arthur stared at him. Some days, Merlin would almost be begging for time off. And yet when Arthur granted him a few days to himself, he argued back. He had only managed to get Merlin to stop working for a couple of days in the past, and on both occasions his servant had ended up in his chambers, claiming that he was just checking if Arthur was alright. The king wasn't fooled. Merlin hadn't had his own time to manage since he arrived in Camelot. He might spend half the time he should be working doing his own thing, but filling an entire day?

It was as if Merlin didn't know what to do with himself.

"Maybe I do," Arthur murmured softly and Merlin simply stared at him.

"Sire?"

For a moment, Arthur couldn't answer, thinking through what he had just said. It was because of Merlin that Arthur hadn't completely given up. It was because of his clumsy, loyal servant that they had pulled through this. Arthur was fully aware that if Merlin hadn't done something in the forest, he would have turned and walked away from it all, believing that he was doing the right thing. Merlin had made him see sense and for that he owed the warlock his kingdom. Did Merlin realise just how much did depend on him being here? He was a friend to all he knew, but he was more than that to Arthur. He was his advisor, his confidant when all hope seemed lost.

If Merlin wasn't here, Arthur wasn't sure what sort of king he would be and that scared him. He did realise all that Merlin was needed here for, perhaps more so than the man himself.

"Take a few days off, Merlin, that's an order." There was nothing in his tone that suggested Arthur was truly ordering him and they both knew it. "Go home."

"I think Gaius would kill me if I spent the whole time in his…"

"No. Go _home_, Merlin."

"Arthur?"

Arthur knew that was the true reason why he had wanted to give Merlin this time off. It had been playing on his mind ever since they had arrived in Ealdor, even if he didn't realise it until now. Hunith had been overjoyed to see her son, and the answering smile on Merlin's face had made Arthur realise it had been years since his servant had last seen his mother.

Arthur couldn't imagine why anyone would want to go that long without having their mother in their lives.

By the time he glanced up again, Merlin was watching him with an unreadable expression on his face. It was the look he often got when he seemed to know precisely what was going through Arthur's head.

"Arthur, I…"

"Please, Merlin. Go home. See your mother. Put her mind at ease over what just happened. After all, we don't want rumours to spread to neighbouring kingdoms now, do we?"

"No, Sire." Merlin stood up as he spoke, a fond smile on his face as he looked towards the king. It made Arthur feel like a boy and yet at the same time made him feel pleased. His father had been the only one who had been able to manipulate Arthur's emotions with a single look, but Merlin had his own way of letting the king know what he thought of Arthur's actions.

"It would be good to see her properly," Merlin murmured, taking a step towards the door as he spoke. Arthur grinned, settling himself back in his chair and knowing that he had won. But Merlin didn't leave. Instead, he turned to look back at his king.

"Accompany me?"

"What?"

"Well, clumsy servant like me, don't you think I should be guided to the border just in case there are Southerners still roaming the forest?"

"Merlin…"

"Please." Arthur stared at him. Why did he feel like his own words were being turned back on him? He took one look at Merlin's face and knew he was being played. Merlin could see how desperate Arthur was to get out of the castle the same way that Arthur knew Merlin's mind had been on other things ever since they had come home. He opened his mouth to argue, but then realised there was no point. Not only did Merlin often get his own way, but why should Arthur protest? He was the King of Camelot, if he couldn't escort someone to the border in his own kingdom, then what could he do?

He offered a nod and Merlin smiled before beginning to open the door. Believing that the servant was finally leaving, Arthur turned back to his reports. The lines that had just been a blurred mess before came back into sharp focus and Arthur pulled his quill and ink towards him, ready to start sorting out the mess that his kingdom was in.

"Your father would be proud of you."

His head jerked up again, but all he saw was the door closing softly as Merlin disappeared. Arthur's heart was thudding. How did Merlin know that Arthur was so determined to reunite him with his mother because the attack had made him feel his father's absence more than ever?

Arthur had no idea how long he sat there simply staring at the door, his mind whirring as his thoughts raced. He wasn't sure what he was thinking about as such, but knew, deep down, that he was once again reassuring himself that he was the rightful king. Despite his father's flaws, he had raised Arthur to make sure that he knew what to do.

When Gwen slipped into the room some time later, her hands dancing lightly over Arthur's shoulders, the king smiled at her.

"Is all well?" His new queen asked gently and Arthur smiled. He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it.

"Perfect," he murmured, glancing towards the door and giving a soft nod to Merlin, wherever he now was. He knew now that he could do this.

Thanks to his servant.


End file.
